The Lampstands

Today as I was reading a favorite and familiar scripture verse, I was reminded of both a past experience and my last post, Feminine Genius. Check out Revelation (WHOOOAAAAA APOLCALYSPE!!!!???!!) 1:12-20 below!

A Vision of Christ

I turned to see whose voice it was that spoke to me, and on turning I saw seven golden lampstands, and in the midst of the lampstands I saw one like the Son of Man, clothed with a long robe and with a golden sash across his chest. His head and his hair were white as white wool, white as snow; his eyes were like a flame of fire, his feet were like burnished bronze, refined as in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of many waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and from his mouth came a sharp, two edged sword, and his face was like the sun shining with full force. 
When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. But he placed his right hand on me,  saying, "Do not be afraid, I am the first and the last, the living one. I was dead, and see, I am alive forever and ever; and I hold the keys of Death and of Hades. 


Pretty cool, huh? Well...yea, if you're into that sort of creepy dramatic fiery end-of-the-ages thing. But if you're a good normal Catholic Christian you'd be all like:

I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Glowing risen Jesus is perfectly normal! If you consider the fact that he's, well, God, no biggie. But I digress, this isn't the point. To make some sense of the inner workings of my mind and the Holy Spirit pertaining to the above Revelation passage, I'm going to have to share with yall a beautiful experience I recently had at a retreat.

I was being prayed over by six of my beautiful sisters in Christ. They all had their hands on me, asking Jesus to give me his Holy Spirit in a deeper way. I remember feeling so warm, but it wasn't on my skin. It was coming from inside of me, similar to the feeling of an adrenaline high, but BETTER! I heard Jesus tell me I was warm because he was holding me in his arms like a little child, and then the tears came. One of my sisters began to have a vision of me. A bright light was coming out of me like the sun, as she described it. I knew it was his spirit inside of me, I knew he wanted to shine through me.

Later, the same woman who had the vision shared Revelation 1:12-20 with our small group. The Lord had placed it in her heart and she needed to share it with us. Instantly upon hearing it I was overwhelmed. This was the might and the warmth and strength of Jesus that I felt! The most beautiful part is that about the lampstands, though. There were seven women in my small group, myself included, just as there were seven golden lampstands. We were all on fire for Christ, gleaming like gold for him, but I noticed that lampstands themselves aren't lamps. This is why Jesus wanted me to hear this, he was speaking to me, and to everyone reading this as well. The light that shone out of me wasn't actually me, it was him. He wants us to hold him up like a lampstand holds a light up so that all of the darkness will be lit with his brilliant, shining light.

It gets even better! Jesus goes on to tell John in Revelation 1 that the seven lampstands represent the seven churches. The mission of the church is to bring the light to all corners of darkness in this world, to continue the kingdom on earth. In my last post I wrote about how us woman are called in a special way to be little churches to the world, offering ourselves as sanctuaries of life-giving love, sharing the graces of the sacraments to all, and holding up this very same light that is burning inside of us.
(Men, you guys are called to be lampstands too, but maybe less pretty shiny ones). ;)

 So bros and sistas, let him shine through you. Be the light of the world because he is the light of the world and you can't contain his joy and love. For you prepare a feast before me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me and anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. (Psalm 23) Let's let our cups overflow with his love. Imagine the possibilities if we let the eternal and infinitive Lord Jesus Christ do his thing, bubbling over out of our lives and into the world like red hot lava - but way hotter and more dangerous than lava - but in a good kind of dangerous, world-changing, soul-changing way. Ya know? I am nothing but his lampstand, though crooked and tarnished I am, and that's all I desire. Anyone with me?

Fearfully & Wonderfully Made

First of all, PSALM 139, baby. It is my wish that as you read this, (if you read this...), you will respect my wishes as the author and listen to this lovely little ditty by Danielle Rose:

Secondly, It is my deepest prayer right now that we all take a small bit off advice from the ever lovable Horton the Elephant:

"A person's a person no matter how small." 

Ahh. So good. So yesterday I was asked to sit in on an early term ultrasound at the Lifecare Center where I work. Let me tell you, when my executive director asked me it took nearly everything I had not to burst into tears of excitement. I probably had the dumbest grin on my face, but I managed to maintain my composure - or so I hope!

So there I was, awkwardly walking in on this huge moment in this girl's life who I don't even know, and I'm all like Hey I'm going to watch this go down. No big deal and looking all professional while all of this excitement bubbles up inside me like a frothy rootbeer float and then the nurse finds the baby. And I stop thinking about anything, really. Because it was just WOW. It was 1 cm long but you could see where its head was, even it's brain being formed. It is only 5 weeks old, but I saw it's little heart beating at 145 beats per minute, clear as day on the screen. WOW!

Do we realize how fantastic we were, even before we were born? It's almost scary, it truly is fearful and wonderful! For example, before you actually had a formed heart, the muscle cells where your heart would come to be began to contract, or beat. This started because one single cell spontaneously twitched when you were 22 days old, setting off a chain reaction among all of those next to it until they all were. In video it looks something like somebody gently tapped it. Think about this. You didn't have a functioning nervous system at that point but the cells all began beating together with the same rhythm. We have been gently nudged by the finger of God and we can't even remember it. My my, he has a sense of humor!

It gets even more brilliant! A baby accidentally hit by a needle during an ultrasound was observed to have twisted away in fear, but not only that! She repeatedly hit at it and kicked it. This was around 20 weeks gestation!!! Also, guess what I learned recently? Human twins in utero play with each other. They have been seen nuzzling cheeks and even waking each other up. Even more amazing, they are known for something in particular - playing games. They have been seen in many scans cheek to cheek or touching each other on either side of their own dividing chorions (the membranes that separates them in the womb.) When these guys are at one year of age their favorite game is standing on either side of a curtain and touching hands. How amazing.



I guess I'm not actually sure where I'm going with this, except that I wish we all had the wonder of a small child who is told by their parents that there is a new baby in mommy's tummy.
Because it's actually truly beautiful whether we see it happening or not, and a child sees this. If you get one thing out of the time that may or may not have been wasted reading this, I hope that it is that you are SOOO incredibly loved and beautifully put together. And that was as true right now as it was when you were in the safety of your mother's womb, as it was before you were even a thought -  For before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Jer 1:5

AMEN!