"God does not inspire us to do what cannot be done."
St. Therese of Lisieux
I have recently come to the humbling conclusion that I don't have a large mental capacity for things divine. When I sit before Jesus in the eucharist during mass or adoration I find myself playing with my hair, daydreaming about coffee, or worrying about something academic, as is typical for a college student. Usually by about the fifteenth Hail Mary on my rosary, I stop and realize that I am thinking about something dumb. Like how much I wish I could be NightCrawler for a day. Or night...ha ha. But I digress.
The point is that I have a hard time focusing on God, who has covenanted himself to me - died for me - even as he is right in front of me in the monstrance or on my tongue in holy communion. It's been enough at times to make me stressed out about even entering into prayer, let alone the neighborhood chapel.
The coolest thing, though, is that none of that really matters.
Why? Because I'm his. He comes to me in a beautiful and humble way, and whether or not I'm fully aware of it or even mentally present, he's there. Which is a really good thing for my incompetent and frail human mind.
Have you ever been outside for a while on a cloudy day and hours later you see that rosy glow on the tops of your cheeks and shoulders? Yep. Even when the clouds are covering the sun, you can still be burned by the sun. How much hotter is the love of our God than the sun? That's the beauty of this. I don't have to have words for Jesus, I don't even have to fully comprehend. In fact, our Catholic and Christian faith are a set of mysteries in essence.
Our inadequacy can actually draw us closer to he who loves us. It can cause us to cling to him like little children. How about little Sister Therese Martin? She became a nun at the amazing age of 15. She struggled with her convent duties and she could hardly manage to stay awake during prayers. She wasn't a big acheiver and had little to show for herself. But she had everything in him. Therese knew something that I so often forget; that if every little tiny wildflower wanted to be a majestic rose, spring would lose its loveliness. So she gave him her small soul. She did what she could manage, doing "Small things with great love." And, Oh how she loved! Today we know her as St. Therese of Lisieux of the Child Jesus, the Little Flower, Doctor of the Church, and my patron saint.
This isn't to say that our witness to Christ doesn't matter! MOTHER TERESA's namesake is St. Therese, continuing her mission, no - CHRIST'S mission - of small humble acts with great love. These women knew the worth of their testimonies to him.
Speaking of humble and beautiful witness to Christ, I have the privilege of spending the weekend with the Handmaids of the Heart of Jesus! What an absolute blessing!
Also, just for sticking with me for that entire spiel here's this: LISTEN TO IT. It will both ruin your life and make you want to kiss the sky at the same time.
May the Lord bless and keep you this weekend and always,